Wednesday, April 4, 2018

worst blogger ever



First I want to apologize for being the worlds worst blogger. I think one of the first rules to blogging is update it at least once a year. This could explain why I have no followers, and if I do or did have any followers I take full responsibility for your insanity and boredom. 
So what do you ask has kept me from blogging the last few years....well mostly laziness(honesty is the best policy). I have had a few surgeries from the neck down. I blame the doctor for the lose screws. 
That Is still not an excuse I could have written about my head being screwed on straight, horrible hospital food in hospitals with no coffee(that should illegal} or having some kinks pulled out of my spine. If I walk like I have a board up my rear its because I have 2 18 inch rods holding my spine in place,,,same thing.
I could have written about how are farm has grown to include pigs that reproduce almost as fast as rabbits. How we constantly have pigs of all sizes terrorizing the property and how I haven't been able to grow a garden since getting them. By the way when they said there's no such thing as to much bacon..they were full of crap. I have researched and tried every bacon recipe google has to offer and all I  gained from that was a couple pant sizes and more bacon. its a vicious cycle...and people are worried about guns and opiates. I wonder if they have a 2 step program for bacon.
  I could have written about how my sweetheart and I celebrated 30 years of marriage and still don't know how we made it. We celebrated by putting our youngest on an airplane and heading to Vegas. Maybe vegas was to celebrate putting our youngest on a plane to school in another state...I forget..
  I could have written how I turned 50 and worse I remember it. We celebrated by fishing at a local pond with the kids and grandkids and worse no one brought me any alcohol. 
  I could have written about how I lost my job by faking back surgery and committing a work violation while under the knife. If your gonna lie people don't document your stupidity and submit it to a government agency.
Life really hasn't changed much in the boonies. The highlight of the week is still reading the weekly police blotter in the local paper. Its good to know I'm not the only one who lost my purse and a cow on the same day.  
 In my spare time I have perfected the use of my electric pressure cooker so I can have dinner done is 15 minutes thus giving myself more spare time. 
 I cant work anymore since my back surgery which means thats just one more excuse I don't have for not keeping up with my blog. 
So since I didn't write about any pf the things I could have written about maybe you could send a little reminder my way once in awhile. Just a little note that says hey you get out of the recliner put some pants on and write. Better yet if youd like my phone number so you can scream obscenities at me that might be more helpful. I need all the inspiration I can get.
  Until next time.........