As we approach our 3rd year anniversary of redneck life we have realized our city blood has officially turned red (well i guess it was red all along but you know what I mean) and we are bonafied rednecks. We have proof of this for example there are enough vehicles on our property including the ones you cant see for the weeds and the ones on blocks to be considered a junk yard anywhere else. We no longer by meat or eggs at the grocery store. We have a hound dog that lays on the front porch and manages to pry open 1 eye at the sound of an intruder and then sleeps it off.We have learned to cook turkey and ham on the grill while at the same time consuming mass amounts of beer while looking for pretty shiny rocks compliments of our home bred and possibly inbred redneck neighbors...dont get me wrong though they are the best neighbors we ever had. We shoot pretty much anything that moves and a lot of things that don't. We have furnished our house with items discarded by our fellow rednecks and re-purposed to fit our needs. You know what they say "one mans trash is another mans treasure..lol". My car is pieced together with different colored parts but its ok no one really notices cause of all the dirt and it pretty much looks like the rest of the redneck cars out here. We have a mountain of empty cans that keeps growing and will probably be all that we have to leave our kids upon our death. I make homemade laundry soap instead of meandering all the way to town for the fancy stuff and we condition our hair with coconut oil and raw eggs and we brew sun tea in a jug on the hood of the car on a daily basis...learned that from uncle Si. We watch the redneck learning show (duck dynasty) regularly but If there is something i have forgotten that rednecks are suppose to do please let me know so i can work on it we rednecks need all the help we can get and then some. I guess its been about a year and 7,523 beers since my last post so i guess your due for an update..hiccup!! Lets see we have a cement walk way now so we can walk to the car without being knee deep in mud, our baby flew coop to get some formal lernin so we got a new baby in the form of a weimeraner. They are over sized hound dogs with big ears and feet and as bout as much energy as a snail except for when he thinks your leaving or you have food and then hell hath no fury on a 8 month old 120 lb 6ft tall dog that will sit on you and not move til you agree to take him with or give him food. He is supposed to be a hunting dog but is afraid of the chickens so I dont how thats gonna work out and I swear he has rocks for brains so guess what his name is,,,,it aint Einstein lol.
Which reminds me I got a new job working with people with disabilities and I have come to realize they are the only smart ones in this town...or any town for that matter. I have learned alot from them and they remind me daily how simple and wonderful life can be and how crazy and mixed up mine is but I love it. We are in the process of adding a windmill to the solar panels and now we wont be limited to watching tv, doing laundry and taking showers only on sunny days lol I might even get to get me one of those fancy electric boxes that washes the dishes for ya....which would come in handy since the other dishwasher moved out to further his edumacation and we have had to resort to using paper china and red solo cups.
So there ya have it we are rednecks for life and life couldnt be better. A friend from the city once told me: I saw that we have one dog and you have four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden, and you have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden, and you have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard, and you have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on, and you have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but you serve others. We buy our food, but you grow yours. We have walls around our property to protect us; and you have friends to protect you.” Guess we arent doing so bad after all.
